sigh...

i just love this time of year...
just love it.
this year it seems like it is on face forward a little...but i'm getting used to it.
hoping after friday, i start coasting and sucking up each and every second of this beautiful time of the year...
~chat soon.

giving....

the girls have taken service projects very seriously this holiday season....
both of the girls participated in operation christmas child through the school.  we also chose some ornaments off of the giving tree from church.  we chose a girl age 8 and a girl age 4...we went to a discount store and the girls had a budget...they were so serious about picking and thinking and wondering what the gils would like...anne chose a barbie with a very fancy outfit and kate chose a pretend house cleaning kit.  it was so cute.  just so cute, they were so sweet in their decision making, wondering if the little girl would like it. 
they really, really connected with the idea of people in need.  anne included her little girl in her prayers 'dear God, please keep the little girl, age 8 safe and happy...amen'.
love those girls...
~chat soon!

words...

so since friday...i have been a mess. on the inside.
adam and i have gone out of our way to protect our girls from any media frenzy.
the tragedy in Connecticut is too hard for adults to digest, i can't imagine having my own children have to face it.
it's been really hard to swallow this.  i wonder if it's because i'm older, because i'm a mother, because i'm a teacher.  i can feel the anxiety of being the parent of a child who is in the most horrific situation and wondering where they are.  i can feel the anxiety of the teacher, knowing that you would do anything to save anyone of those babes, your 'weekday family' as i call them, from any harm.  i can imagine the fear of the teachers huddling the kids in the closet or bathroom.  knowing you honestly step in front of anything to save one of them.
oh man. 
i have been wrestling with the stories all weekend, trying not to read or watch too much. 
then i feel selfish, i want to protect myself?
 from what?  from a story, where i can relate?  what about the families of those directly effected?  that's when i want to slap myself.
i wasn't quite ready for today-apparently.  i had several moms who's faces were heavy with anxiety drop children off.  they needed to know 'what they should say'...'should i talk to her about this?'....'how do we go on?'  i tried so hard not to cry.  i just smiled this weird, calm, smile and said...we must be strong, we must be strong for the kids...we are the barometer of the house...of the classroom....you should be honest, but protective, and calm...i just kept kind of saying that... 
i got myself together after their departure.
 then i saw the custodian double, and triple check the large doors right outside my classroom, he pulled real hard, and met my eyes, giving me a half hearted smile.
 i just mouthed-thank you. 
my coworkers and i have been speaking about this since friday, and have said it over and over...we can't live in fear, we just can't...we would then shake our heads and say...'you're right...we can't..' and then the emotions would wash back over us...and the strongest one at the time would say it again...or 'it was an isolated incident...etc'.  but in reality.  it isn't helping one stomach ache to go away or one heart to stop beating so hard...
there are no words for a time like this.  not for people in missouri, not for people in indiana, not for people in canada, and certainly not for people in Connecticut.  'they' say things make you stronger...i don't know about this one....i just don't know. 

i do know that these words are helping...psalm 56:3...When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
~chat soon!

Santa baby....

This past weekend, we went to my school for the Winter Wonderland.
Santa is there.
I have not ever, taken the girls to the mall to see Santa.  It just hasn't happened.
I always take them to school.  It's free (for the teachers) and no line.  I get to use my camera...it's just right.
It was so cute.  They were still a touch anxious, but it was contained.
They were chatting with Mr. Jolly himself, when he looked at me and said 'Mom...did you tell them to say that?' 
Room gets fuzzy....what did the SAY?!
'This one here--looking at Anne, wants a duct tape kit to share with her sister.  And she told me she will take anything that I would want to bring them....'
kate squeaked out that she would like a  new bike...or anything he wanted to bring.
Santa just said....'that was sweet, mom.  Keep it up!'
Darling.
I never told them what to say...I just told them to keep it real.  That santa can only do so much with the elves at the North Pole.
It made my day....

so fun!
~chat soon.!

the tree...

so we went LAST weekend and picked out our tree....
and i'm just now getting around to posting this.
we didn't have a grand trip to the tree farm.
we just pulled into lowe's approximately 7 minutes from our house.
and picked out a perfect tree.  a perfect tree with a crooked trunk.
therefore our tree looks like it may or may not fall over at any given point, but i guess that's the fun of a real tree, huh?
every year is different.
it is pretty.  and i do so love christmas.  so it's all good.

saw these baby trees...just had to go back and get one. :)

hey momma?

a-hey momma?
me-yes? (slightly exhausted)
a-i just love you. wanna know why?
me-of course (much more calm)
a-well, first off, you're smart. and then you're caring, and you always help me with my homework, even when you have helped everyone all day long....and you are BEAUTIFUL.   and you are just so nice. to everyone, even me.
me-room gets fuzzy....hot eyes, tight throat.  clutching her closely.  'well, anne, i love you too!'.

sometimes it takes a 7 year old to bring you back to where you belong.
love that kid!:)
~chat soon!

kate is thankful.

on thanksgiving day we went to church.
our church is large, and is filled with kids.
when our kids go to the children's message on a normal sunday, they usually sit amongst 40+ kids and off to the side.  no matter how hard they try to answer a question that the pastor asks, they usually don't get called. 
on thanksgiving the attendance was quite small. 
the girls went to the front of the church for the children's messagae.
pastor asked the kids some things they were thankful for.
our girls were sitting front and center.  kate was chosen to answer.
there was a long pause (her quitley saying her answer)  and then pastor laughed outloud and said well....this little one is thankful for cheese, flowers, and grass.  adam and i were hysterical.  it was a typical kate answer.  something odd, out of blue, and just kind of wierd.
after the service we asked kate what she was thankful for to see if she would say it...she said I TOLD THE PASTOR TREES not CHEESE!  hahahhahahhahah  even funnier.
so kate is thankful for TREES, flowers, and grass (although she is a lover of cheese.)
hahahahha.
too cute.