motherhood

heavy title, huh?
i love being a mother.  i really, really, really do.
i was in the car this weekend with my mother in law, the kids were so stinking wound up it was nuts.  we had taken them to a movie and then to get pizza with a coupon anne had for a reading incentive.
adam was out of town this past weekend, so i was solo.
no big deal.  we have two kids. it's not too terribly hard.
UNTIL THEY TURN AGAINST YOU.
something went amiss.  i don't know what.
maybe i let my guard down. maybe they sensed my vulnerability.
who knows. but it was clear.
i.was.screwed.  (pardon  my bluntness...)
as i said in a prior post, this week we had 2 snowdays.
i spent one day in bed, with a rotten tooth.
went to work 2 days.
got 2 root canals, have i mentioned that before? quite traumatizing...
woo hoo.  a wild week, huh?
it was most unproductive.
nothing can get under my skin more.
point of this rant...
sometimes it's hard. motherhood is.
everything you do is wrong.
the surprise you had planned when you pick up your first grader, not appreciated.
the movie you rented from the dollar rental box, they don't like.
the fact that they have to come home with you and not go to their maw-maw's because you didn't have to work due to weather, a disappointment.
it can totally get to a gal, can't it?
i found myself in the past 36 hours really beating myself up.
wondering what i could have done to make this a more 'memorable weekend....'
the answer is.....NOTHING.
it's hard. it's unpredictable, it can be unrewarding, overwhelming, and psychotic at any given point in a 1 hour period....
it's even harder when you hear someone say
'i just don't know how you do it....'

I DON'T KNOW EITHER!

then i read this
i have never read this blog before and i ran across a link on a facebook post.   it laid it out, plain and simple.
she said what i have been thinking.  i even cried.  that's how much it rang true in my head.
as a mom, you want to make sure that you don't miss a thing, write everything down, be accountable for every holiday, birthday bash, fart that is made...
if you don't...you will have to answer to those ladies who say

DON"T WISH THESE DAYS AWAY...THEY WILL BE THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE!

i get nervous, sweaty, panicked.
anne is turning SEVEN.
WHAT HAVE I MISSED?
WHAT DID I NOT WRITE DOWN, TAKE A PICTURE OF, REMEMBER FOR A STORY MUCH LATER IN LIFE...
while i don't wish the days away...sometimes i am just happy i made it.
~chat soon!