school

wanna know a little secret...
this time of year turns me inside out.
more so now that i have kids.that are in school.
i don't know what it is....
the idea of the increased schedule of events, the idea that we have to stick to a routine, or the mere fact that they are one year older and i can't control a lick of it (that is it...i tell you!)
if you are one  of the two people that read this little rant of mine, you will remember that i was a hot mess on anne's first day of kindergarten....on anne's first day of MINI preschool, i threw up under my desk after the bell rang and my students were gone (i was all of 8 months pregnant with kate, i think that may have just whacked out my stomach)
point of all of this....anne starts school tomorrow.  she will be in 2nd grade.  she is the most beautiful, intelligent, caring little girl i could ever talk about.  i can't stand the fact that as each year passes she is that much more out of my hands...some of you  may read that as a control freak speaking....absolutely not, but a realist.....she will be 8.  she wants her ears pierced, she has started blushing when you mention boys names that in the past she was a non gender friend with.  seriously.
i have been known to count eggs before they hatch (project my worries to far in advance) but its the real deal here....i can still feel the air the day i had anne.  i can feel the fabric on my skin the day i took her to the sitter for the first time, i can feel the emptiness when i sent adam and my mom to take her to mini preschool for (2 hours) the first day....and then real preschool....and then kindergarten....oh my goodness....i'm telling you the faculty still talks about that nut ball mom that blew her nose 400 times and made everyone cry.
before i know it, she will be in 8th grade.
crap.
that's all i have to say.
i know that we are doing all we can as parents to raise our kids as God fearing, respectful people.  and at the present time, they think we are the smartest thing next to Einstein himself.  i just wish i could bottle that, and then serve it to them when they were 15.
~chat soon!