Thursday, February 11, 2010

always in the shadows...

...stupid diabetes. always lurking. sits quiet and then pokes it's ugly head around the corner. today it had nothing to do with me or dad. it deals with anne. DON'T FREAK-she doesn't have it.

when she was born, we put her in a study that tested to see if she has the genetic makeup for type 1 diabetes. they called several weeks after she was born to tell me she does indeed carry the not-so-glamorous-gene of diabetes (or the big D-what we call it around our parts!) the study is called TRIGR and it is great. they are working feverishly to figure out what it is that makes the gene activate or mutate or whatever scientific term it is that makes the person have diabetes. the team we work with is awesome. for the first several months we had to go and get her blood drawn, then it was every 3 months, then once a year for the first 10 years of her life. her chances of being diagnosed with D is less then 5% chance prior to the age of 10. chances unknown after the age of 10-just found that out today...

today i had to take anne to Children's hospital to get her labs done (blood shot as she called it). she was so terribly brave. squawked a tad when the stuck the needle in, but after it was all said and done, she jumped off and stood at attention, waiting for her sucker. :) the blood work is looked at to see what her average blood sugar is. it is always perfect. its just a nail biter until the 24 hours pass and they let you know that it is A-OKAY!

today on the way to the hospital, anne asked me why she had to get a 'blood shot'. i said, that it was to see if she needed a pump like me. (didn't know how else to explain it..) she didn't miss a beat and said. "but your pump makes you special and i think that's great". had to take a double take and make sure i picked up the right 5 year old and not a 15 year old by mistake. :)

who really knows what is in the cards. i don't know, adam doesn't know, the doc's don't know, the blood work can't predict. it is that weirdo feeling of being completely out of control. luckily, i only have to think this over, once a year when i take her for her blood work. :) whatever comes of it, one thing is for sure. GOD is in control, and as usual would carry us through-although, i wouldn't mind if he gave us a get out of jail free card on this instance! :)

i hate it. did i ever tell you that? it stinks. but it could always be worse. always, always, always. sometimes i kick myself for ever allowing anne to be in the study. would i think differently if i wouldn't know that she carried the gene, or would i worry MORE? i watch what her liquid intake is from time to time, if i think she is getting to skinny (if you know Anne, that isn't really a rationale thought! :) )...every time she gets sick, i ponder if this will be the time her immune system says I GIVE and diabetes comes into play. it truly is always in the shadows. ...stupid D.
*don't forget the walk to cure diabetes is in september...join me!*
~chat soon!

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