f.e.a.r.

four little letters i HATE.
today i touched base with the word fear.
living in the Midwest, storms are not foreign to us.
i'm still a HUGE wuss when it comes to them.
a few near misses as a young child will do that to a gal.

the weather man said the weather for the weekend was going to be wet. big whoop. i can deal with wet.
it rained last night. big whoop.
this morning was overcast. big whoop.
i ventured out for some errand running after the girls went down for their nap. (adam was home) i heard the forecast predicting 'strong storms', but more often then not this means, thunder. ;)
first errand done.
went to the dry cleaners to pick up some clothes. that is when the whole thing went south...

here's how it went down.
the sky was black. you know that weird color that you know it shouldn't be at 3pm.
the wind is making things fly at your head.
i scampered into the dry cleaners to meet two teenage girls with eyes as big as saucers.
their boss just had stopped in and said if the sirens went off they were to lay under the counter.
um, yeah, i thought, you keep the cleaning.
i'm out of here.
as i got in the car, i called home to tell adam that i wasn't going to the grocery store, the sky looked spooky etc. and then...

the sirens started wailing and my britches filled up.
OH MY LORD.

that sound brings.me.to.my.knees.

it really does.
i had a quick conversation with myself that went something like this...

you are 33 for goodness sake. cowboy up and take it like a man...

(that is the "g" rated version of the conversation.)

the pep talk didn't work. the tears started, and i just wanted my momma!
of course, in a situation like that, you hit every possible red light on the planet.
and i did.
the second one that turned red is long on a good day. i had the feeling of being sucked into quick sand. the sky was getting darker and greener by the second, and i swear if i would have reached up, i could have touched it...i prayed out loud, almost yelling, TURN THE LIGHT GREEN. nothing. red as an apple. i looked in all directions, prayed again, nailed the gas and turned the corner. nice that there was a police officer who came up right behind me, he was polite enough to keep driving, i DID smile and nod politely when he passed me up. (maybe he was scared too...)

the rain started, the hail came, the prayers were louder, and the tears were fiercer. i swear the clouds were spinning funnels right before my eyes, although none were reported (can't believe it. ;) )
luckily, the cars must have sensed my panic and moved over when they saw me coming.
(that was nice, don't you think??)
i flew into the driveway, jumped out and ran in the house.
adam had taken the girls to the basement already and had come up to check the sky.
he looked at me like i had just come back from a trip to the beach. as if i should just have smiled and kissed him lightly...
i was breathing heavy, teary eyed, and sweating...oh and don't forget the shaking...
'what is wrong?' he says.
i ignored him and made my route to the basement.
did i mention i hate storms?
(the calm after the storm...)

~Chat soon!