Saturday, June 25, 2011


i wish i were referring to this type.
from wikipedia after searching 'crowns'

but i'm talking about the kind in your mouth.
here is a short story long about my love/hate relationship with the dentist.
first off.  up until the tuesday after mother's day...i LOATHED the dentist.
when a dental commercial came on, i thought of anything but....i would think of bubbles, kittens, babies, people with beautiful white teeth...just not my teeth or the dentist.
fast forward to the said tuesday.  i had been having an issue with a tooth.  it hurt. but not all the time.
sometimes, it would give me a headache.
othertimes, it was as if, it had healed itself.
while we were on mother's day, it starting hurting a lot.
i was having to take Tylenol a lot.
i don't like to do that.
monday, i went to work and told my friend in dental fear about my tooth.
she told me to have faith. it would go away.  she even concocted some sort of aspirin dust stuff to put onto my tooth...she promised me it would be okay and i would be healed.
tuesday came. the concoction did not work.
i was eating a pork steak in front of her.  the heat went into my tooth and literally bent me in half.
i said. i know, but i can't.
so i swallowed hard. found the number and shakily dialed.
the nice lady said she could get me in at 1:30-it was 12:10.
she laughed and said.
see you then!
i went.
the drive was a whopping 2 minutes from work.
i walked in.  my eyes fell on a floor to ceiling length bird cage. ( i don't like birds, except these...)
great. two fears. at the same time.
this isn't going to work...
the lady calls me back to the room.
she says. 'oh my, you look nervous'
uh. yeah. you don't have a clue.... i said under my breath.
after a lot of looking, picture taking, heavy breathing (on my part)
it was determined i would need a root canal.
i almost pooped.
right there.
i said. (loudly)
it's 1:45-I have to pick up  my kids at 5. I can't have a root canal today.
the dentist slapped the opening of his latex glove and said.
i got my gloves on, 30 minutes you are OUTTA HERE.
okay. gulp.
and off he went.
it was a cinch.  30 minutes no lie. i was numb as could be but i was immediately pain free AND pain free the rest of the night/day/week. i even went back to work.  i looked like i had suffered some paralysis with the amount of Novocaine they gave me but it was good!  i felt GREAT!
phase two of the root canal.
not too bad.  until i got to the car.
i cried. it hurt so bad. how embarrassing.
okay, fine. i lived.
this past week, i get my temporary crown.
i had asked around to see what it was going to be like.
they all said. 'no big deal'.  maybe i should have read this before i went.
the root canal is the worst part.
that wasn't horrid.
i can live.
i have overcome my fear.
8:30 appointment wednesday morning.
bright and early.
mark it off the to-do list.
well, it wasn't 'as easy' as the root canal.
stuff was flying everywhere.
words like oozing. gauze, wedge....were being used.
sick. super sick.
it was over, they gave me a mirror to 'clean up' with.
they hygienist is telling me what to do and not to with my new addition.
i kind of half smile...and GASP.
there it is. the new tooth.
the whitest, shortest thing i have ever seen.
if you know know that a)my teeth aren't LITTLE and b) unfortunately they are not white.
you could see it, you could totally see it. it looked like the biggest misfit of a tooth i have ever seen, it's fourth from the front. i have a big smile, its totally visible.  the room was getting fuzzy...
i laugh a lot.  you could see it when i laughed in the mirror.
oh my lord.
what would adam say?
i made my next appointment for the 'real crown' and bolted to the car.
i call my mother. no answer.
i call my  mother's cell phone. no answer.
i call my mother at 'the meadow'. no answer.
i call my friend, michelle.
she answers.
i explain the situation and she assures me that it will look normal, once i get the new one.
oh lordy.
while i may have overcome my fear, out of desperation, i can tell you this past wednesday, reaffirmed my dislike for anything that has to do with my teeth, or the dentist.
i'm sure the two people reading this are saying. WHAT IN THE WORLD?
but camera is broken.
so if you see me, please stay on my left hand side.  as i will only smile if you are there.
~chat soon!

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